A little prayer may help.

As I type both my son-in-law and daughter are preparing for their joint 40th birthday party tonight, it has probably already started, she did send an invite but because of the way our last visit ended, I will not be attending. I shan't go into details as their are always two sides to every story and you would only be hearing mine. We both fell out last Christmas Eves day and neither have seen or spoken sinse, I am content to distance myself from her and get on with my life without her in it, but I'm now feeling tearful as deep down this is my only child and God forbid anything ever happens to her or me under these circumstances would I ever be able to forgive myself for all the lost time spent being out of her life. This is not the way I want a mother/daughter relationship to be, wishing we had always been close. I love my daughter but I do not like her. Please keep me in your thoughts tonight as I feel my heart is breaking over my stupidity and stubborness.

Im sending prayers to both you and your daughter. i pray that both of you can find it in your heart to forgive and put the past behind you. I pray that love will heal the wounds that you both have.

Vanilla2 i am very sorry to hear that you and your daughter are not speaking. I will send you and your daughter prayers for the next 30 days and send out Light & Love to smash this invisible barrier that is preventing you and your daughter's relation from being Peaceful & Loving.

Many Blessings

I am not sure if what i am about to say will help in anyway and i know this is a place for prayers but i really feel that Forgiveness is the Key Word here. the most important thing we can do in life is to forgive others & ourselves. There were many times in my life i had a hard time forgiving myself for the wrongs i have done and the wrongs others have done to me. When we learn how to forgive in any situation Love & Peace replaces any grudges we may have had. All we can do is continuously send out our Love and Prayers. It takes one person in a struggling relationship to make the first move by forgiving the other person and also forgiving yourself. Eventually if we continue to do this the other person will come around, it may take years but we must be humble and be the Light.

Many Blessings

Vanilla2 wrote:As I type both my son-in-law and daughter are preparing for their joint 40th birthday party tonight, it has probably already started, she did send an invite but because of the way our last visit ended, I will not be attending. I shan't go into details as their are always two sides to every story and you would only be hearing mine. We both fell out last Christmas Eves day and neither have seen or spoken sinse, I am content to distance myself from her and get on with my life without her in it, but I'm now feeling tearful as deep down this is my only child and God forbid anything ever happens to her or me under these circumstances would I ever be able to forgive myself for all the lost time spent being out of her life. This is not the way I want a mother/daughter relationship to be, wishing we had always been close. I love my daughter but I do not like her. Please keep me in your thoughts tonight as I feel my heart is breaking over my stupidity and stubborness.

Dear Vanilla, may prayers of healing and the strength of forgiveness find their way into the hearts of you and your daughter.
I can only tell you I know all to well what you are going thru. In my case I was on the other end, I was the son in a similar situation. In spite of repeated attempts on my part to reconcile the situation it went on for 30 years!
I am happy to say that persistence payed off recently and all is well but one of many important lessons I learned from this is that "family" differs from all other relationships because "families" develop "bonds" with each other over the years. These bonds, no matter how strong, given enough time apart, CAN be broken!
"Do not let the sun go down on your anger" holds so much meaning for me.
My advice, not that you asked, but if you would consider coming from one who has been there..is...nip it at the bud! Do whatever you have to and make peace with her. I am sure that you are not content with it as much as you may think you are and I am sure your daughter is hurting inside as well.
I'm sorry to have my post be more then what you asked for...prayers...but I felt the need to share from my journeys in this life in hopes that you may gain insight into this unfortunate situation.
"Leave you gifts at the alter and go home and reconcile with your brother"
There is nothing of more spiritual importance in your life right now then to work this out.
Like I said...I know and I have missed out on soo much with my family, never to gain these things back! How sad to never have had an adult relationship with my Dad! I don't want to see someone like you who is very special, experience the hurt that comes with letting such things go on to long.
Peace and Blessings,
WhiteShaman

Last night was tough. Thank you all for your prayers and personal stories, they are helping me already, I have just posted a small greeting card to my daughter, the words are short and sweet letting her know that because I never went last night, does not mean I wasn't thinking of her nor does it mean I dont love her, and that one day we might both appreciate what we mean to each other. The words are fresh and genuine and come from my heart. I still cannot find it in me to forgive and forget or to meet with her or talk to her, just want her to know that I do love her.

I am too sorry to hear that you arent speaking.

One of the things that I have learned laltey is that you cant dwell on the past. Learn from the mistakes, to make your future brighter! (I am also very stubborn as well lol, so I do sypythise with you )

Peace to you and your family!

The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:


Forgiveness
by Barry S. Maltese
If you try to reach inside of your heart
you can find forgiveness, or at least the start
And from that place where you can forgive
is where Hope, and Love, also thrive and live

And with each step that you try to take
and with that chance that your heart might break
Comes so much happiness, and so much strength
which Alone can carry you a fantastic length

For hate and anger will not get you there
and though you say that you just don't care
You can EASILY avoid the pain on which hate feeds
. . . the kind of hurt that No one needs

Just make the move, take that first stride
let go of the thing known as "Foolish Pride"
Maybe then you can start to repair the past
into something strong, that will mend, and last!

Wind-Dancer those words seem as if they were written especially for me. bless you

hi Vanilla2,i have been away for over a week.And i have alot of catching up to do,and the prayers are first.I will be including you and your daughter in my prayers every night.My heart goes out to you.May God hear our prayers,and have yours paths join together with forgiveness and love bursting at the seams. :lovesigh:

Dear Vanilla2 I pray that God will restore your relationship with your daughter as in the happiest days you both two shared. And that it may continue in that way for eternity. Peace Love Joy to you both :lovesigh:

well, my friend "Nilla"....LOL

my daughter and I are always at it
but I need a mellow loving quiet life....
she is younger and with bigger dreams
so it happens we grate while growing....

I would miss her so
maybe somewhere we will quiet down
on our journey and enjoy living...LOL


Family Blessings To You.....,amen.

I send prayers of Peace and Love for you and your Daughter Vanilla2 :lovesigh:

Thank you all for your kind wishes, words of comfort and prayers. I did post a small card with the words telling her "I do love her" so far I have received no reply. But I do feel better and more at peace with myself now that she knows, whatever our future holds.

I am so happy to hear what you did,by sending her a small card saying "I love you" should break down the barriers between the two of you.Love and kindness done and said with feeling goes a very long way,where as stuborness and anger just makes matters worse. :lovesigh: