Poems by A Touch of Heart

My son passed instantly in 1997 after he was run down by a local drunk driver.

I was working for a Casino's Graphic Design department and decided I needed to further my digital education so I signed up for college two months after Tommy was killed.
Not that I was trying to escape the situation but because I felt I need to go. Something was drawing me to the education. I loved graphic design and felt I wanted to learn more of course but a deeper calling was pulling me to this. We are not always in charge of our lives. We are guided by spirit but I did not know it at the time.

I asked the General Manager if I could go to college and still work the weekends. He said "Yes, take the paperwork to HR and we will pay for it". That was a surprise; I was not expecting them to pay for it. (long story short, my paperwork disappeared twice and it was never paid for due to the G.M.'s untimely death)

I signed up in Dec 1997 and started Jan of 1998

I had mixed emotions on all levels; for the loss of my son, going to college out of town right after we lost our son, working only weekends, being away from home, going back to school. Was I nuts? Going back to school when I was never a good student growing up. I never liked school when I was a kid. I think what I disliked most was being the shy kid who was always mocked and teased by the stuck up kids at school. For being adopted, too tall and too shy, not good looking etc. etc. I was never a "good student" I loved typing and sewing classes but failed Algebra and never liked English or History. Forget having a speech class, I declined that like the plague. I only had a handful of friends in school so this new College venture was stepping out of my comfort zone. My parents always wanted me to go to college; it was their dream and they could have paid for it easily but I did not want college. I went to work instead of going to college because I felt that pull. Life had other plans for me. If I had gone to college, I would never have met my husband at one of my places of employment and we would never have lost our son and I never would have lost my husband I had to follow the pull; it’s what I signed up for this lifetime…..Divine timing; we are not always in control!

I was forty-four in 1998 so I had outgrown my shyness and since I had been working with people daily I believed I was ready for life's adventures. I felt like my life was starting over again.

Then in February 1998 my birth mother died. She was someone who I was only able to be with on two conscious occasions and one after her illness prior to her death. I was glad to have found her in five days after never knowing who she was and I did find that I had two half sisters.

College was exciting; being independent, on my own during the weekdays. I was staying in a dorm room Mon-Fri fir the first semester. Driving down The feeling brought me back to my childhood, remembering when I loved getting out of the house and hiking in the canyons, running through the kills and sand just being by myself.

Driving to College on Monday mornings 97.3 miles that today may take only 1.5 hrs. It would anywhere from 2 – 3 hrs in bumper to bumper traffic. I would drive home on Friday nights and work the weekends.


My 1st Term was Jan-March 1998
Classes consisted of:
Class.........................................Score .....Grade
Theory & Elements of Design..........4.00.......A
English.......................................3.00.......B
Graphic Design I.......................... 4.00.......A
Typography ................................3.00.......B
2-D Design..................................4.00.......A
Professional Development...............4.00.......A
Psychology..................................3.00.......B
* Grade Average...........................3.59
* I made Honor Roll

My 2nd Term was Apr-June 1998
Classes consisted of:
Class.........................................Score .....Grade
Adobe Illustrator I........................3.00.......A
Adobe Photoshop I.......................3.00.......A
English Composition......................3.00.......A
Graphic Design II..........................3.00.......A
Drawing Principles I.......................2.00.......B
History of Art...............................3.00.......A
* Grade Average...........................3.88
* I made Honor Roll and the Deans List

My 3rd Term was Sept-Oct 1998
Classes consisted of:
Class.........................................Score .....Grade
History of Graphic Design...............4.00.......A
Graphics Design III.......................4.00.......A
English Communications II..............4.00.......A
Quark Xpress...............................4.00.......A
Drawing Principles I.......................4.00.......A
* Grade Average...........................4.00
* I made the Dean’s List with a 3.5 or higher

In my 2nd term I had an English Composition. One of our homework assignments was to write a poem. I asked the Professor “How do I do that? I’ve never written a poem in my life”. And she replied “From your Heart Deborah”. She knew my story.

So after the day’s classes I went to my dorm room. I sat at my desk and contemplated on a topic for my poem. I had no idea what I was going to write about. I must have sat there for 30 minutes just thinking. Then all of a sudden the thought of my son came to me. “I’ll write about Tommy; but what will I write”? And how can I make it poetic?
I got my pen and paper out and thought about a title. “Together Again” came to me. I wrote it down then I started taking notes when all of a sudden my thoughts were flooded with words. This was weird; I never had such brain function before. Thoughts and ideas and trying to write; I had a huge urge to go to my bed, kneel down on the floor as if in a praying position. I put my tablet on the bed to write this poem. As soon as I put my pen to the paper all these words came flooding in my head and out of the pen. I was having a hard time keeping up. Where are all these thoughts coming from?

Then I realized it was my son’s thoughts coming through; but I’d never had this experience before. I couldn’t write that fast. After a few lines I said out loud “Hold On! I have to go to the lab to do this” I knew that I could type faster than I could write but would I keep up the pace; would he follow me to the lab so that I could finish the poem? I grabbed my pad and pen and flew down the stairs to the first level. I was in a panic but was able to sit down and pull open word. It was late but there were a few kids still in the lab doing homework; I presumed. I grabbed a computer and started typing. The words were still coming fast. I was able to get it all down and then my thoughts started slowing down. That must be it I thought as the poem came to an ending. “Wow! That was cool” I told myself.

This first poem titled "Together Again" was channeled by my son who had passed a few months prior. I wrote the first four sentences and the last two. He wrote everything in-between. He also helped me on a couple more.

“TOGETHER AGAIN”

For some do not know and they curse the reason why. Their beloved is taken so early in life.

It only happens to others you see, it will never happen to us, believe me.

We always depend upon others for life; to take advantage of love is an oversight.

Their young, they're strong, they have their whole life, who is to say God will take their short life.

The signs were all there, in dreams, and in thought, mother knew, instinct told her too.

It’s only a dream, how silly could one be, “It’s ok, it’s not what I see, believe me”.

But over and over the dream did despair, the thought of losing a long life affair.

They fought sister and brother; it’s common in young folk, with age and wisdom, they both grew we know.

The young rabbit hunter walked the hills over and under, when that got old, he discovered another wonder.

It had two wheels, sometimes three, and a brother, who shared in the love of the same, two wheels under.

They rode day and night; their helmets sometimes light, caution always spoke, from their parents with insight.

Road rash here and a few cuts there, no fear he wore and sometimes he swore.

“One day I’ll ride cross-country far and wide”, little did he know he’d be doing it solo.

One fateful night, while in search of a good sight, he and his friends were the victims of plight.

Suspects all three were intoxicated you see, from the law they did flee, with speed and no care.

Head on they did crash, hit and run was the act, with betrayal as the fact.

The victims they lay as pure as the day, lifeless one lay, while the other ones prayed.

For the ones that remain, their pain will retain, for the loss of their friend, they remain still vain.

Oh, how we miss the one with lifelessness, someday we hope to reunite our loneliness.

Until that day, that we see your light of day, our dreams will be open to you every day.



----------------------------
Let me explain a little bit in the poem.

“It had two wheels, sometimes three, and a brother, who shared in the love of the same, two wheels under”.
Brother was his best friend; just like a brother.

“Who shared in the love of the same, two wheels under”: they both had quads (3 wheelers)

“Road rash here and a few cuts there, no fear he wore and sometimes he swore”:
Tommy had two accidents prior to the big one. His friend ran into the back of his quad once day sending him to the hospital with what the emergency room thought was brain damage. While I was in the restroom at the ER they canceled the CT brain scan because he was ok. Just wasn’t his time…yet.

“One day I’ll ride cross-country far and wide”, little did he know he’d be doing it solo”:
I’ve seen Tommy in my dreams and he still rides that bike. He was across the street at the top of the hill waving at me and the mountains were covered white with snow and he had drawn huge hearts in the snow.

“Suspects all three were intoxicated you see, from the law they did flee, with speed and no care”.
It was a hit and run accident and three days before they turned themselves in.

“The victims they lay as pure as the day, lifeless one lay, while the other ones prayed”.
My son’s friend had a broken arm, leg and hole in his chest. The female cousin to my son was the most critical. The bumper grabbed her left leg and she was ripped almost in half. She laid there on her back with her left leg under her back. Split from her crouch through her female organs. They said she would never have children but she has proved them wrong with four. She said she heard a voice while she was laying there. He said “Don’t worry, you will be ok”, maybe it was my son.

I shared my college class schedule and grades because this college course was divinely guided. I learned that I could take classes and excel. That I could write, and channel spirit at the same time and that I would continue to write poetry and share with others. Since 1997 my poems have been shared with everyone I know locally and online.

More poems to come . . . . .

Thanks so much Deb for sharing from your heart. I had tears as I read. I know Tommy and Tom must be so proud of you!

God bless,

Deb you are an absolute star

Debs is a lovely lady,Stephen. With a great big heart....

Joan

A beautiful poem said with so much feeling

Namaste

Thanks everyone.......I'm blushing

I promised to post another poem. I think
Here's the second one I wrote.
I think I'll post the photo for the first poem first.

“JUST REMEMBER ME”

Don’t cry for me, because I’ve passed, I’ve just gone home, my sorrows passed.

It’s wonderful to finally see, the world at a view, a sight to see.

I only came to stay a while, to learn the things that were worthwhile.

I learned of love, I learned of hate, I learned of fear, as one must taste.

One day you will, you’ll understand, the reason why we live and die.

The choice was mine and mine alone, the choice to perfect my everlasting soul.

We know it’s hard, it’s supposed to be, that’s why God sent you and me.

If he believed we could not survive, he never would have thought it twice.

The timing was right, please understand, I was well prepared, way in advance.

I’ll be there, just wait and see, when you need me the most, just call on me.

I come and go, you might not know, we want you to know, you’re never alone.

When you visit the grave, we’re at your side, and when you leave, we also retrieve.

The goal in life you set for your soul-will be easier to attain if you believe in the soul.

Each day in life when you cry out why? Remember the goal in soul’s quest for strength.

The knowledge you gain from life’s good and bad, your soul will shine just knowing so.

Just do what’s right in your heart and mind, and others will learn from your shinning soul.

Remember to love, that’s what life’s made of, life’s test of strength is all based on Love.

It matters not what color you are, the real test of soul is what your heart is made of.

May, 1998

Lovely.

Thank you Stephen. They barely got that poem on his headstone.

trying to put a post on here but my internet is playing up....

One more try then will come back later....

Just wanted to say that I sincerely hope in the future,many more happier times to come to you,Deb.

Joan xxx

Absolutely beautiful Deb, he is so handsome?

Did you notice he is covered with spirits. A woman on his forehead with curly hair and a man on his neck. There are others but not that clear. I also see spirits in the black around his picture. He is a beautiful angel and I'm sure he is with little Bailey now!

Lovely words Taurus

Taurus20 wrote:Absolutely beautiful Deb, he is so handsome?

Did you notice he is covered with spirits. A woman on his forehead with curly hair and a man on his neck. There are others but not that clear. I also see spirits in the black around his picture. He is a beautiful angel and I'm sure he is with little Bailey now!

Thank you Joan.....

Taurus, you know I have never looked at his photo in that way but I do everything else. I don't see them but I'll look at the photo I have in file. Probably won't have the same images on him. I think you missed my post when I shared that I asked spirit to give me a sign of who's spirit Bailey is and in the am they gave me my son's image. Or he did. I think it was a few days before she was born. I know this happens but it is strange to think that my son may already reincarnated into my Same Life. What a trip! check this out Taurus.....today while mommy was in the shower.........I called whispered my son's name......."Tommy" and she perked right up and looked at me. More than once too. That's a good one...I got a tickle out of it. I'll ask some additional questions and see what comes. I remembered more dreams when I was laid off. This alarm of mine is so anoying loud that is hurts my ears and shocks me awake and I forget my dreams. I used my cell last night and it went off first. May try it only tonight.

And thank you Taurus, I always thought he was handsome. Even in my dreams he is handsome. Around 19, not the age of 15 when he passed.

I can see the spirit in his hair line. Sometimes young ones come back into the same family. I have a grand daughter who is the spitting image of an aunt of mine. Features are the same and the character is the same.

Both intent on their career. Both very serious people.

It's uncanny how much alike they are. My aunt passed in 1983 in her 80's. Sarah was born in 1985.

Joan

I guess I'll have to look better into Tommy's pix.
I've heard that in others also. My grandson was about three when the medium told me he'd be coming back. I still have all my old cassette readings. I'll have to listen again someday when I can buy a new cassette player. Mine kicked the bucket a while ago.


Does anyone here on the board know of you can reincarnate and be in spirit at the same time? Seems logical due to the fact that our soul fragments off into many sparks at the same time. I guess I answered my own question. Read that somewhere. But wondered if true. I didn't read it. It was at a spiritual church 35 miles away. He spoke of soul fragmentation one night.

Now I see them. One on right and left of forehead and one in hair.

ATouchofHeart wrote:I guess I'll have to look better into Tommy's pix.
I've heard that in others also. My grandson was about three when the medium told me he'd be coming back. I still have all my old cassette readings. I'll have to listen again someday when I can buy a new cassette player. Mine kicked the bucket a while ago.


Does anyone here on the board know of you can reincarnate and be in spirit at the same time? Seems logical due to the fact that our soul fragments off into many sparks at the same time. I guess I answered my own question. Read that somewhere. But wondered if true. I didn't read it. It was at a spiritual church 35 miles away. He spoke of soul fragmentation one night.

I used to something on reincarnation filed on comp. Will have a look and see what I can find,Catt.

joan x